Ok, so I did it.
I could say that I only did it because I was drunk (which I was) or because I wanted to please the Trucker (which I did) but the fact is I tend to be an 'all or nothing' girl and my curiosity got the better of me.
The Trucker has a fwb that he sees on a semi-regular basis. She's been involved in the kink scene for a long time and although she's a switch she's always submissive with him. She's also bi, and the Trucker has been wanting the two of us to meet for awhile. This is partly because he thought we'd get on and it would be good for me to meet a more experienced sub, and partly because he really wanted to have a threesome with two subs. I was curious about her so I agreed to a night out, though the threesome thing was totally dependent on my comfort level.
I felt like I was going on a date. I was nervous about meeting someone who he'd known for awhile and regarded so highly and I was worried about being the stick in the mud if I decided I couldn't go for it afterwards. Even worse though was the thought that SHE might decide not to do it because she didn't like me or find me attractive enough. Seriously, it felt like a first date with a really big 'first' hanging in the balance. And so I did the only thing I could do. I drank rum and tequila.
We spent a good few hours at the pub and then ended up back at her house. You know that first time you're about to fool around with someone but you're both too shy to make a move? You sit on the couch watching a movie or something and the tension just builds up, you know that it's going to happen but you're both waiting for the other person to take the dive? That's exactly what this felt like. And the Trucker is probably the least subtle person I know when it comes to this stuff, so when he did decide to make a move it was literally "Well, I would really like to have sex with both of you. Thoughts?" Not exactly smooth, but it worked. I went for it.
And when I say went for it, I mean I got super shy again and hid for the first few minutes. I went to walk into the bedroom and saw them making out and realized that I had no idea how to go about this. Where do I sit or stand or lay? Was I supposed to fool around with her as well? She was into girls but hadn't made any indications that she wanted that with me so did I go there or not? To be fair I wouldn't have had the first clue what to do regardless. When they were making out did I just chill on the side and wait my turn? So many questions! I realize you're supposed to just go with the flow, but I prefer having some idea of the boundaries and guidelines. A rule book would be extremely appreciated, or some kind of huddle beforehand. Just jumping in is terrifying.
Luckily, the Trucker knows this about me and he just took charge. After that, it was pretty cool. There were still moments that I didn't know what to do, where hands should go or what was wanted, but I got through them. One of the hardest things was the knowledge that someone else could see me and my reactions. I get incredibly shy when being watched, even by the Trucker. There was a point when we were both on our hands and knees with the Trucker doing mean and nice things behind us. Her face was so close to mine that I had to turn my head the other way and hide it with my hands so she couldn't see my reactions.
I have issues, I know.
In the end, it was both what I thought it would be, and completely different. Technically I had a threesome but it was almost like being one on one, just with someone else working on the opposite end as you. There was no actual sex involved, so I'm sure that will throw in a whole new dynamic, but it was kind of nice to start with third base. Baby steps and all that. I've told him I'd be up for doing it again, and so there will probably be a Part 2 of this little story at some point. I might even go into more details with my first lesbian experience if it happens, if you're lucky.
(You'll be lucky)
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