We went for some food and many drinks and hung out. I think that was as much for my benefit as theirs, they didn't want to just jump right in and scare me off and letting me get a bit tipsy first never hurts. This was the second time we'd met up, but the first time she and I had pretty much no interaction with one another while we played. This time there was more of an emphasis on me and her fooling around and me getting the chance to sate my curiosity regarding sex with other girls. My coping mechanism came in the form of rum and cinnamon whiskey.
Don't get me wrong, I wanted this and had been looking forward to it. As I tried to explain to both Sir and Giggles though, anytime I do anything new in terms of sex I get nervous. I overthink, I get shy, I turn it into a much bigger deal in my head than it really is. So my nerves at the beginning of the night weren't situation specific, they were just me doing what I do. And I have to say, they were mostly unfounded. When we got back to her house I felt totally comfortable and relaxed. When we started playing around I wasn't shy or embarrassed, I didn't feel as though I couldn't handle what was going on and the atmosphere was playful and fun. I even got naked, which I'd managed to avoid the last time.
It started out with the usual, Sir making out with me and then her, us giving him head either alternating or together. There were lots of hands and sighs and moans and it was really great. And then Sir decided to fuck me and oh my freaking god. He got me on all fours and it felt amazing. Up to this point Giggles and I hadn't had much contact, I'd felt her hands along my back and ass at one point earlier but that had been about it. And so suddenly while I'm being fucked by Sir she got beneath me and I felt a mouth on one nipple and a hand on the other.
I'm just going to add in at this point that I have extremely sensitive nipples. There are times when I think I could cum just from having them stimulated. If you want to get me off they are the first place to go and after only seconds of work I'll be squirming around and moaning. Seriously, it's good. So you can imagine how unbelievable it felt to have that going on while having sex. I didn't know what to do with myself. I can't even remember a lot of it, I just know that I was writhing and moaning and saying 'oh fuck' a lot. Eventually I had to pull away and I spent a few moments laying on the bed giggling with my hands across my chest. I even told Sir that I never wanted to have sex with just him again.
While that had been going on my hands were clutching at her and I have to say I like the different feeling of a girl vs a guy. It's kind of nice to feel something that soft under your hands. I'm pretty sure I even got my mouth on her tit at one point. And that my friends, is about the time I became disappointed with my first girl on girl. And it wasn't at her.
I can be a complete idiot sometimes. After that awesome experience I didn't touch her again for the entire night. She gave me ample opportunity, there were moments I thought she was specifically saying or doing something just to give me the chance to jump in if I wanted to. And I wanted to, but did I? No, of course not. I watched Sir go down on her for ten minutes, followed by them fucking for another while and the entire time I wanted to join in somehow. Play with her breasts or try going down on her or even just try kissing her for pete's sake, but instead I sat on the edge of the bed and just watched because that's what I do. A lot of my apprehension beforehand had been to do with this. I get unsure of what to do and self conscious that my attempts won't be welcome or that I'll do something incorrectly and ruin what they were doing. I realize it's mostly ridiculous but it's something that's always stuck with me. It's why I can't initiate anything and why I rarely ask Sir for anything. The fear of making a fool out of myself overrides any desire that I have (which I realize is a crappy way to do things).
And so for the last bit of the night, after all the laughing and amazing sensation and comfort, I sat mostly apart. I felt myself disconnect from the experience and I became very frustrated with myself for not being able to put my desires into actions or words. I don't think I spoke for the last half hour that we were all together, and certainly not on the ride home, because I was in my head and felt trapped by my own inability. The worst part of this is that I realize that to other people this can come off as disinterest, petulance or boredom. I like Giggles and I really want to play with her more but I can't expect her to be willing to hold my hand through everything, or be able to translate my hesitancy into shyness or insecurity.
I loved last night and the memory of parts of it will remain in the spank bank for a good long while. I was able to stay with Sir and the comfort of having him in the same bed and there in the morning was enough to knock the disconnect and insecurity out of me. I mean, it really was pretty great. And fortunately both Sir and Giggles are very understanding people and I know I'll probably get another go. Hopefully anyway. And most importantly, I'm allowed chocolate today. So really, I had a threesome last night, spent the night with Sir, and my day will include chocolate. How could I be anything but happy and content after that?
God bless sex.
I loved last night and the memory of parts of it will remain in the spank bank for a good long while. I was able to stay with Sir and the comfort of having him in the same bed and there in the morning was enough to knock the disconnect and insecurity out of me. I mean, it really was pretty great. And fortunately both Sir and Giggles are very understanding people and I know I'll probably get another go. Hopefully anyway. And most importantly, I'm allowed chocolate today. So really, I had a threesome last night, spent the night with Sir, and my day will include chocolate. How could I be anything but happy and content after that?
God bless sex.
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