Sir and I have spent the last few days surrounded by my family and Christmas festivities. I love Christmas and I love my family and Sir, so for me this has been the best combination of all things. And yet, that extra naughty little part of me keeps seeping into things, tainting the wholesome holiday fun (and by tainting I mean making it extra awesome).
Christmas Eve morning we were visiting family and opening gifts and I was told how much they all approved of Sir (this being the first time he's met most of my family). All I could think of was how the night before this 'nice guy' had handcuffed me, fucked me in the ass and choked me while I sobbed and begged him not to. It kept slipping into my mind and I spent a lot of time daydreaming about our sex life.
Christmas Eve night I was with my immediate and extended family playing games and being festive and I kept finding excuses to sit on the floor next to Sir's chair. It was a reasonably easy task, I usually like sitting on the floor anyway and I used the fire as a reason. And partly, it was true. Mostly however I wanted to be sitting at his feet. I wanted to experience that submissive feeling that I've been craving more and more, and this was the most subtle way of achieving it. Granted Sir probably couldn't have stroked my hair all night or held me by the back of the neck the way I love without it looking odd, but the occasional hand on my shoulder was enough to make me feel like his little sub.
Christmas Day he teased me a bit in the kitchen when my mum was out of the room, and allowed me to cum later in the shower. I spent most of the rest of the day craving physical attention from him but had to keep the PDA down to a level suitable to the occasion and company.
Tangent: I'm increasingly craving physical contact with Sir. And not even sexual contact, just some form of physical connection. If I'm near him I want to be touching him, or more importantly, I want him to be touching me. I'm finding that even a hand on my leg can give me that feeling of ownership or belonging that I seem to want. Someone once told me that true subs and true slaves become desperate for the attention of their Masters, that they become almost pathetic in their desire for more. He didn't mean this in a negative way, but I remember thinking to myself that I would never allow myself to get there. That I would never allow myself to be in the vulnerable situation of constantly wanting attention and connection and being a 'desperate' slave. And yet, now I'm beginning to understand what he meant and I find myself in a position I hadn't expected. And I'm fighting it, as always, despite being so content when my cravings are met.
Tangent over.
My holidays were both extra wonderful this year because I was able to share them with Sir, and extra surreal. I was the doting daughter, the accommodating niece and cousin, and the entire time I was thinking about being pushed into the floor and having Sirs cock in me. I've been able to keep my social and sexual lives pretty separate up to this point, but I have a feeling things are going to get weirder and weirder as my dynamic becomes more of my actual life. Poor Santa's not going to have a clue which list I go on.
No comments:
Post a Comment