On Tuesday we met up with Giggles (Sir's FWB). I had told Sir the last time that in these situations I was going to need direction. I may want to do naughty things with another woman, but if they leave it to me to take the initiative or ask for something, it'll never happen. If I'm told to do something or to let someone do something to me, it's a different story entirely. He mentioned it to Giggles that he wanted her to top me as well, and it ended up with me on all fours on the bed while she used me to show him how to use different implements. Well, it was for me too. :)
There were two canes, a rubber flogger, a plastic paddle, a wooden paddle like thing and a heavy bar wrapped in something soft. (I have no idea what the proper names are). She started out slowly and got progressively harder, as you do. It was awesome. At first I was just giggling at the situation, and then I was laughing in response to hard hits. Eventually I was kind of off in my own little world, just taking it all in.
I liked the difference in sensations. The rebar was thuddy and I felt it in the muscle as opposed to the skin, I kept likening it to a meat tenderizer. Deep pain, especially when she hit on the bone. The canes were sharp and I only felt it on the tips. It was sharp and stingy, it felt like I was being shocked. The paddle (at least I think it was the paddle... I couldn't exactly see) was really interesting. The pain came from the edges of the paddle, but it was a different kind of stingy and the thud from the bulk of it kind of evened everything out. Of course this was when she was hitting a bit harder, at the beginning it all just felt like a really unique massage.
It was so great. Sir was right there and I had the comfort of his hand on mine the whole time to grip when I needed to. There was something very arousing about him watching me experience pain from someone else. I know he likes to see me writhing and squirming when I'm hit hard and I had the bizarre experience of wanting to take a lot and make him proud of me, and wanting to give the sadist in him the satisfaction of being hurt at his order. We didn't get too intense, she just gave me a taste of all of them and then we moved on to the sex part so that Sir could be included. I want more. Just that taste had me feeling relaxed and a little floaty, and I know I could have taken more. Maybe one of these days I'll be brave enough to ask her if she would play with me, but we'll see. Most likely I'll stay slightly chicken.
And really, at this point I don't know if I'll ever really play with her the way I'm curious about. I can't bring myself to even touch her unless I'm pushed up against her by Sir, and it's not from a lack of desire or curiosity. I've become a much more confident and openly sexual person in the last while, but initiation is still not one of my strong points.
Still though, the whole night was brilliant. The hottest point hands down, was when Sir was fucking me from behind. She asked him if she could play with my nipples and he gave her permission. Did you read that properly? She asked him for permission about my body and he granted it. No one asked me, it didn't matter what I wanted because it's Sir's body and he can allow people to do what they wish with it. To hear and feel it verbalized in that way was an indescribable turn on and it's still one of the main things running through my head during the day.
Maybe it's because of that or maybe it's just the mood I'm in, but today I'm feeling extremely submissive. I want nothing more than to have Sir here and to obey him. He could tell me to kneel in the corner while he watches tv and I would do it happily. He could have me make him food or get him drinks and I would, I would be content just to sit at his feet.
These aren't normal feelings for me. I'm submissive of course, but the idea of cooking for him or curling up at his feet aren't things that normally do it for me. Usually I would be inclined to point him to the fridge or demand space on the couch. Today though, I don't know. I had an extremely emotional day yesterday so maybe I just miss him and want to be close to him. Or maybe I'm craving that feeling of complete surrender that I had the other day. I don't know why, but today I don't want my boyfriend as much as I want my Sir.
God I love my kinky life.
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